I've been in New York for a little more than two weeks. And it isn't like I've never been here before... two winter terms, countless spring/ fall breaks, and visits to my grandparents' house when I was little. But now that I'm here with no expected departure time, that I'm trying to live here, I am feeling more and more that I do not have an effective New Yorker disguise, that in fact, everyone knows that I am not from around here.
- I smile at people, say thank you, and tell them to have a nice day when I leave the store/ counter/ apartment/ whatever. This causes people to either look at me like I am weird, or causes dudes to look at me up and down, wondering if I am coming onto them. Maybe I'm just flattering myself, but I don't think so.
- I see people doing/ wearing the weirdest things, like perhaps they are in a movie and find myself staring because New York makes me feel like perhaps I am also in a movie. I stare at the jogging lady smoking a cigarette. At the woman dressed like she should be working at Vogue who is actually surrounded by dogs and is a dog walker. At the guy walking across the street against the light who shouts at the car that honks at him, "Hey, watch it! I'm walking here!" (no joke.)
- Even though I am surrounded by delicious foodstuffs everywhere I go, and have ample public transportation to get anywhere I'd like to go, I still find myself hungry at night and secretly wistful and missing my mom's car and the Taco Bell drive-thru.
Maybe this is my way of manifesting homesickness. I guess I'll give it time. But I actually like some of my midwestern-ness and hope that a bit of it sticks.
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